The Power of Seeing through your Entrepreneurial Fears - Seriously

The Power of Seeing through your Entrepreneurial Fears

I can remember going back 12 years ago in my life and waking up to the fact that I was done working for others and I had a dream living inside of me waiting to be born. I was in the base camp of the Davidson Glacier in the summer of 2001 in Southeast Alaska where, I spent 7 days learning how to mountaineer.  The rest of my group was off climbing a second mountain peak.  The day was clear and sunny.  I sat in the snow with the tranquility of the sun keeping me warm and at peace.  I was so in touch with nature, myself and all of my surroundings.  I had a confidence that I had never felt before. I was sitting alone; waiting for the small plane to taxi me back to civilization after a week of mountaineering.   In the serene silence of being so connected to mother earth, I had a visual  apparition to include robust sound glaring out at me.  I had never in my life ever felt Energy around me so Pure that I knew it was our Divine Creator who had my full attention to alter my imagination.

I was shown my Life’s Mission, a real Purpose for my existence and the reason I was sitting on a glacier in the middle of the back country of Alaska with no means of leaving without a plane.  From my perspective, I was NOT trained to act out this mission and purpose.  This was very foreign to me. This was the polar opposite of my conditioning. 

(Today I AM aware that my first career and all my experiences are what trained me for my Life Mission and my Purpose) 

 I did believe in miracles yet I can’t say I had any experience being part of one back then.  And it was also very foreign to me back then to be having these vivid conversations with the Divine Almighty in this fashion.  I wrote everything down that I heard, I saw and felt and refer to those notes quite frequently.  The last question I remember being asked was “are you willing to step into a life of meaning and purpose and fully wake up? I said YES YES YES and not really knowing what that specifically meant, yet it intuitively made sense – my YES was authentic and pure which allowed me to walk through the doorway of truth with ease and that was when the real personal development training started. I felt myself breaking free as through an inner light broke through my mind.  

  My egoic mind was filled with the illusions that magically I would just wake up to being something different without actually doing any personal development work, which back then I did really know what personal development work was.  I seriously thought this “prophetic apparition"  was some kind of instantaneous pill to reshape my life similar to the Matrix movie.  It did not happen that way.  This Divine invitation opened me up to a new world if it wasn't enough for me as a big city gal to mountaineer in the back-country of Alaska.  My world was expanding magically as I leaped forward into the new.  

What I did not know back then was a lot of what I did NOT know and how much entrepreneurial fear lived inside of me and my own limits I carried about how much success I would allow. 

I did not have entrepreneurial role models that encouraged the reinvention of my life. I certainly did not have the ability to truly articulate the psychology of human behavior within workplaces and how emotion, and behavior affected the relationship between leadership and staff , the bottom line and the energy moving through the inside of the  business as I AM the expert of today.

 I could go on and on about what I did not know and I could have buried the dream that was planted within me.  I was trained by corporate giants to play a role in feeding and serving the bottom line (sales) and to be a bridge between customer and the corporation I represented.  All I knew was people mattered and deserved to happy and have fun at work and in personal life instead of constantly carrying heavy burdens that sucked away inner joy and sabotaged constantly feeling good and succeeding.  I wanted to be done with sabotaging my own life.  Living a life of meaning and purpose is all I wanted.   A vision was planted inside my imagination, growing inside of me and waiting to be emerged into action.

You may be very similar to me over a decade ago, having an idea brewing inside of you, yet you are still in your cubicle dreaming about someday. No one ever accomplished something great someday. The truth of the matter is deep inside of you feel lost and a bit petrified because of the leap into unknown, so you procrastinate because your cubicle is safe, predictable and consistent.  You can only avoid your purpose for so long. In my experience when I was here, the Universe reached out to pluck me from my cubicle because I did not move forward.  I was all talk and no action.  That was almost 10 years ago.  That was one of the best gifts to receive that startled mix emotions of excitement and to the fear involved in actually putting my services out there.  I did it.  I leaped and so can YOU!!!

One of the most dangerous places to be is being blind to your own fear and lying to yourself about it. One of the greatest excuses I hear is how swamped or busy a person is to really invest in the prosperity of their dreams.  The problem with doing this is you never really allow yourself to connect and interact with your business dream and have a healthy relationship to fuel your enthusiasm and build your business on your terms.  By using this excuse you disconnect yourself from people who can help support your transition into a life of meaning and purpose.  It suppresses and delays your happiness and exhausts your energy leaving you in the someday syndrome.

 I will share I made many painful and costly mistakes that the consequences had me face some of the greatest storms and trials of my life around self-sabotage, procrastination and avoidance behavior-- and most of all the FEAR of the UNKNOWN. And in the early years of my practice I made the mistake of still having an employee mindset that operated my business and not fully allowing my brand to be visible and being led by the industry instead of being operating by my terms. I see many self- employed people running their businesses this way and being more miserable than they were in the cubicle.

Because of these priceless experiences directly correlated around entrepreneurial fear, I have learned to master many lessons and have a heart- filled passion to pass on my learning to other entrepreneurs and emerging businesses no matter what stage you are in your entrepreneurial practice.

  I AM inviting you to join me in attending my original teaching that is geared to fast-track you and your success in feeling freer and confidence as you move forward.  My product name is " Free From Fear: Employee Street to Entrepreneurial Blvd" It is designed for show you a direct pathway to shortcut your mistakes, boost your Energy, your Sales and your Business.  http://www.thebusinessmd.net/free-from-fear-AK.html    

Please take a look and contact me to share your thoughts.

Genuinely,

Christine 

TheBusinessMD

What are you Focused on Today?

           What are You Focused on Today?

Like it or not we are all focused on something.  Your focus is either contributing to building up or tearing down your life – like it or not. 

Often many of us are so focused on our conditioning, our fears and our limitations instead of being focused on living a life full of meaningful purpose and our divine natural talents, gifts and strengths.

What you allow your mind to buy into is so powerful that I ask you this very critical question – who is leading your focus about what is possible in your life?

Be honest with yourself, is it your conditioning, the media, your circle of influence?  Or is it co-created between you and our Divine Creator with intentional creation? 

I recently found myself reading an article on The Picture of the Day titled “Living on the Edge”. It is a picture and story about a young man named Alex Honnold who is known as the best in the world for being a free soloist, where he climbs natural rock formations in record speeds around the world without ropes, without gear and relies on the power of his mind.    

Sounds a bit insane, unsafe and deadly, right – Yet, Why?

 That would mean such an inner self trust, self-discipline and self-reliance would need to be accessed and directed toward living in the present moment. It means you have one shot to get every move right. It means all the conditioning of what is possible or how something can be accomplished or how long something needs to take is released out of mind and out of your focus of normal. It means reaching a profound place within yourself where the mind is silent and you are free from stress, distraction and doubt.  This is the place of your inner power and being connected with the power of our Divine Creator.  

Diving within yourself to connect to this concentrated power of silence and focus which eliminates the noise places YOU 100% in charge of your mind to lead your life. And to give up your excuses, doubts and step into the magic of life.

This power lives inside of all of us.  You may not be wired with the same gifts as someone such as Alex Honnold yet you are here for something magnificent.  You are able to access the same dimensions inside of you to finish your work sooner than later, to involve yourself in richer life experiences, and to continuously evolve beyond the limitations of society and your past conditioning.

Take a peak at this short video and article on Alex http://twistedsifter.com/2012/07/picture-of-the-day-living-on-the-edge/   and then ask yourself what am I focused on today?  

Please write me, would enjoy hearing how your plan shifting your focus --christine@thebusinessmd.net 

Genuinely

Christine

Saying “NO” to Bamboozled Hoodwinks and “Yes” to Straight Up Service

Customer facing service agents are the front line of every business no matter if you are a soloentrepreneur who wears all the hats in your business, a small emerging business to the big corporation or anything in between that have a customer service department.  The way your front line interacts with your existing and inquiring customers affects your reputation, customer retention and bottom line profits. 

You invest a lot of time and energy in your front end systems of marketing, public relations, selling, and on-boarding clients by an online store or you do it through a human sales force that you continuously develop while paying high end commissions to nurture relationships and to close new business. When profits are flowing everybody’s happy. Everyone is making MONEY.   The customer on-boarding process is easy, the customer/consumer feels welcome until some customer or potential reaches out picks up the phone to work out a dilemma with a live person and one of two scenarios is about to play out  -  either that customer service agent enhances the relationship or exacerbates a fast deterioration.  I will elaborate more on that in a moment.

Let’s take a step back and review the past 10 years. The last decade expansive advances in technology on the rise have diminished even more the distance barriers to allow an extended marketing reach, more flexible work dynamics than we experienced last century and more innovative ways to deliver products and services. It is more common that businesses work with a clientele from various demographic regions today. 

Technology has allowed for process automation of both internal and external systems with the intent of increasing time efficiency and lowering monetary costs of having human labor.  Streamlining and cutting out the fat in a business is one thing; to cut out lean muscle on the back end system of “Straight Up” genuine Service is a big no-no costly mistake. To cut costs, so many businesses employ under skilled folks to be the problem solvers, relationship menders,  and preserve a positive image in how they  care for their customers. 

For example if you are a business selling high end product/experience/service that requires an investment from your customer, why would you have a unskilled low paid hourly worker answering the phone when someone inquires/needs clarity/ has a discrepancy  about the experience or have only a website that is difficult to navigate and makes it difficult to talk with a live person who can really nurture, care, solve, have empathy and buildup to develop a long term relationship of repeat business and promotes to others a positive experience integrated internally on the back-end of the business?  

What I am talking about is Straight-Up Service.

I have seen this scenario play out heavily in the hospitality, tourism, telecommunications, technology, retail, shopping, advertising, marketing, health/wellness, and the personal development space.  

 

 This is what I call a “Bamboozled- Hoodwink” approach where the business has invested a lot in the front end experience to hook the prospect, convert prospect into customer and even provides a lot of value in the product / service / experience and then something happens. A psychological disconnect in the mind of the customer has occurred. They need to talk with a person in your organization that can solve their disconnect and be of service.  This is where the customer walks away feeling better about doing business with you instead of resenting you. 

When resentment is contained early on it can easily be corrected.  When a business faces resentment that has built up over time erupting below the surface it can spread over night like weeds choking a beautiful harvest.

Here are some common mistakes of businesses that take the Bamboozled- Hoodwink approach:

·        Over promising and under delivering.  I am a big supporter and endorse a business who creates service level packages ASKing their customer to commit.  It is better to under promise and over deliver.  Psychologically this builds you up in the mind of your customer instead tearing you apart and out of litigation. 

·        Forcing customers to stay in a committed agreement with you when you are the one is not holding up your end of the agreement.  If your outer appearance offers an easy build up for the client and the inside of your business is mess that creates of chaotic stressful burden for your customer and their business -- this ends up being an unhealthy relationship.  You cannot expect someone to stay committed to you and pay you when you are not holding up your end.  This is great way to create resentment and have a poor reputation that ends up being a bigger mess to clean up that you ever anticipated leading to high turnover in both staff and in clients.     These businesses usually have a lot of negative hype written about them on the internet from resentful customers.

·        Your working approach is adding negative stress to the customer because you have rigid processes and a mechanical way of connecting with your customer instead having a human-friendly approach that allows ease, flexibility within the structure and efficiency.  This means you are to navigate between the company rules and being Human so your customer feels satisfied.

·        Asking the customer for constant referrals or testimonials when you and your customer just started working together. You are in the courting stages of the relationship and the customer has no measurable result to share.  This clearly illustrates a relationship that is more about you than your client.  Psychologically what you are doing is you are adding stress to the relationship with your client, leaving your client beginning to question working with you and never fully gaining the trust that is needed to accelerate results.  You suppress fruits of the relationship. Once the client receives measurable results – YES by all means Ask for referrals and a testimonial.     At this point the customer feels good about the relationship and you will receive a better testimonial. And your customer will want-to not have-to.

·        Bait and Switch.  Promising some innovative terms during the onboarding contract signing that the customer is expecting to have.  These terms really made entering into the contract attractive.  And then when the customer does not receive those terms and inquires, the customer facing agent communicates they were never authorized, misspoke, apologizes and offers a gift to the customer that has little or no valued meaning to building up the relationship.  It psychologically plants a dormant seed of mistrust that out of nowhere erupts and the customer is vigilant.

·        Signing customers on and hiding terms of the agreement.  No one likes to be blindsided and deceived.  Many online stores have very attractive services that allow the consumer to sign up for a low price to receive an item.  The law states the terms need to be sited on the sight.  It does not mean in BIG BOLD letter flashing at you.  So these Hoodwinks bank on people NOT paying attention and start automatically dipping into the consumers credit card month after month.    I have seen these businesses written up on Ripoff forums on the internet.  By the time the consumer pays attention to their credit card these “Hoodwinks” end up with a range of $20,000 - $500,000 per month because people do not pay attention.  By the time the consumer contacts the company to receive a refund they end up with some Bamboozled- Hoodwink hip answer of mechanical standard operating practices.  You the consumer have just donated a range of $59.95 -- $795.00 of your money for what in return.    An easy solution for Bamboozled- Hoodwinks after consumer makes initial purchase sent consumer email to confirm membership to XXXX and allow consumer to confirm with all the valued benefits to encourage usage.  At least if the consumer uses the services 1 x and forgets it their responsibility – they did not get forced or deceived by terms they were unaware of.

  

·        Marketing/ Advertising a high end experience that when inquired upon the consumer talks with a low paid unskilled agent who does not match up with the experience and cannot speak the language of the people who can afford such a luxury.

·        Having either only a Voice mail for me to call or having too many computerized prompts with such a long wait time of annoying music.  People want to communicate with live people.  People want to be acknowledged and heard. They want to be able to reach out to have their situation solved or their question DIRECTLY Answered.

Straight UP service enhances and nurtures the buildup of the relationship. It works hand in hand with the front end systems and sales force.  The customer feels valued even when “shit-hits-the-fan”  

People can feel the energy you put out – it is better to serve the best interest of the relationship instead of having  a Bamboozled- Hoodwink approach?

Straight-UP Service is about looking out for your customer’s interest not just your own.    Hiring a bunch of low paid low skilled folks to field, avoid, dodge and bamboozle complaints is missing a bigger picture and I recommend an adjustment in how you see your customers.    A customer facing agent that has a loving supportive direct approach can often melt grumpy people and solve the issue to retain an ongoing relationship.   More often than not people just want clarification to gain understanding not to beat you up.  Guess what that customer has every right to ASK you questions about the process, their billing or anything else that pertains to the business relationship.  

If you are avoiding direct communication with your customers you are NOT serving them. If you give FLUFF answers and only communicate by email YOU are NOT serving the needs of your Customers.  You are serving your needs only.   

 How you operate your business on the inside and back end with customers will directly affect your retention and profits.  It’s up to you.  

As both as a consumer and a business owner I say YES to Straight Up Service and NO to Bamboozled-Hoodwinks!

Genuinely, 

Christine

Three Tips to Unblock your Entrepreneurial Spirit

Dear Reader,

In my line of work, I have been blessed to meet so many interesting people who want to do their part by adding value to the world through their work and their specific niche. Fabulous people who have an Entrepreneurial Spirit and desire to share pressing knowledge with the world, yet they feel blocked by some force that is misunderstood, which results in a state of resentment. These folks I am speaking of are men and women, various races, and all ages. These folks have varying levels of education and are skilled in an assortment of work disciplines. What I am describing is a very common human condition, in which this challenge bypasses no one, in the perseverance to incarnate one’s vision successfully.

Because of these blocks, many people end up in careers that provide a paycheck as the main fulfillment, yet the spirit inside of the person is left suppressed. This suppressed state creates boredom, frustration, stress, victimization, shame, doubt and insecurity, in which generates complacency; in turn grows the blockage inside, activating a wall of fear-based resistance. This very resistance blocks the person’s ability to receive thriving results out of life.

If something inside of you is nudging to stop holding yourself back and come alive to participate in work that is aligned with your Entrepreneurial Spirit, apply the tips precisely that I am about to provide for you. Work is meant to be fun, meaningful, and prosperous. It is also meant to connect you with a population who is searching to use your product or service to solve something pressing that is causing their world difficulty.

Remember, you are the masterpiece of your own life and know from this moment forward success is sum of small efforts practiced daily. You have all the equipment you need to succeed. I encourage you to dare something worthy with your skills and talents. By holding back you are playing small and holding back solutions to benefit the world. Yes I realize the programming that most of us acquired instills beliefs to hold ourselves back from the worthiness of our birthright. It is not your fault, because you didn’t know any better. Now you know, you are responsible for what you believe.

Beliefs are determinates of what you experience in your world. It is that simple. If you hold a belief, for example, that you can’t have a positive cash flow and be successful at something you have passion for. In this simple example, you would never allow yourself to make money at something you are passionate about. You would take on mediocre work. You would have created unworthiness, doubt, obstacles, stress, limitation and blockages about your passion. And you probably would complain about the job you have. You would participate in work that you have no love for.

Now that you know, you have the option to do something better with the use your time, energy, skills and talents. You deserve to be happy and have prosperity. And you deserve to unblock yourself to have a thriving life.

Tip number one:

1.Stop searching for what the world needs, discover what helps you become alive and go do that. Capture for yourself the emotional state that you want to feel when you have a positive cash flow from the work that comes from your Entrepreneurial Spirit. Your emotional state is the fuel to reach the outcome you desire. For example, if you want to feel happy, confident, courageous and motivated. Be clear about how all those emotions feel. Allow yourself to feel success.


Tip number two:

2.Clean up anything in your life you resent or have a negative attitude toward. Negativity, anger, fear, worry, victimization, shame and apathy are examples of resentment. Forgive yourself, your decisions and anyone involved. What is done is done. If have clients that frustrate you, clean up the frustration. You may need to have a conversation with your client or you may need to break off the relationship. Either way, take healthy active steps that clear away any negativity. If you have job duties that frustrate you such as paperwork for example. Practice loving the activity or love the activity by outsourcing if you can. Removing negativity from your life loosens the blocks and releases the blocks grip on you.

Tip number three:

3.Pay attention to understand what you are challenged by. These challenges are blessings in disguise. These challenges are road maps to what your Entrepreneurial Spirit is here to provide a solution for. Learn to transform the problems you are experiencing into solutions. My entire business concept was conceived out of my frustration with bureaucratic cultures that maintain complacent practices and lack the sense of urgency to evolve; and as a result have forgotten their greatest asset is their people.

I can empathize with all you that feel stuck, or feel unworthy or have fear or have no idea of how to put your ideas together. It takes BIG BOLD COURAGE to get out of your own way and to be unaffected by the good opinions of others. Yes, the risk is yours and so is the GLORY!!

Remember every creation in our world is the human imagination pushed out. You can achieve anything you put your mind to. There is something that you know that you don’t know, and you may not know how to begin. Yet, believe me, you do know. Face your fear, practice the tips to unblock your ability to receive flow, surrender to Entrepreneurial Spirit that so desperately wants to come alive and then you are ready to begin to thrive.


Genuinely,

Christine

Counterfactual Thinking

Counterfactual Thinking
“

We are so trained in the thought system of fear and attack that we get to the point where natural thinking -- love -- feels unnatural and unnatural thinking -- fear -- feels natural. It takes real discipline and training to unlearn the thought system of fear.”

Marianne Williamson

The human condition has been trained exceptionally well in acting out of limitation, counterfactual thinking and from a fear mindset. We see fear and limitation in behaviors such as codependency and addiction, procrastination, envy, neediness, inaction, avoidance, obsession, self-pity, compulsion, acting out of scarcity, excuse driven and passive-aggressiveness.

This lengthy list of behaviors is easy to identify in others yet very difficult to see in ourselves. Many fail to recognize the true meaning behind these behavior and psychological conditions. Humans are masters at externalizing and come to conclusions easily about one another. We allow our minds to go on endless journey’s looping to only end up in a counterfactual thinking pattern that creates judgments based on our values, beliefs and filters of perception.

Humans believe they really have the facts, yet the fact of the matter is the wrinkles in perception need to be ironed out before one can really know anything. To know something is be certain. Uncertainty is not to know. Knowledge is power because it is certain and certainty is strength. Perception is temporary because it is subject to fear or love.

When our perceptual filters think FEAR, (the fear is deep down in our subconscious), sometimes attitudes and behaviors become one of pure selfishness and entitlement –“what is yours is mine and what is mine is mine.” This motto is demonstrated through people who want to ramble about themselves yet never expresses interest in other person or believe they are entitled to take claim to the earned life perks of another. This person desires to take from life and gives very little back. This person’s fear leads to hoarding, envy and coveting, avoidance, greed, bashing, blaming, deliberate meanness, and a person who thinks life is doing something to them and is all about them.

In this cycle of FEAR, we limit our possibilities to end up prisoners in our own minds. Because we are prisoners, we suffer, struggle, personalize and fail to see the doorway to freedom which feeds the psychological dilemma in the United States.

Part of the psychological dilemma in our society is we continue to validate unbalanced behavior and play games of deception with ourselves and with others. The hidden cost of fear and this deception I would argue is more qualitative than quantitative yet by no means is the Fear insignificant. To understand Fear one is required to get inside another’s world and mindset, to feel what is like in order to figure out the logical outcomes of these experiences. Below is an example to think about:

In previous years an employee receives very positive performance appraisals and today in his performance appraisal learns he is bypassed by a junior employee for promotion advancement. The reasons behind this decision were unclear to the employee. He felt management was unwilling to talk about the issue. As a consequence this employee starts believing there is an unknown hidden agenda to advance in the organization. Resulting in this employee’s self-talk shifting to – “why should I be a team player? Why should I do more than my share or work any additional hours at night or on the weekends? My boss sucks and so does this company after all I have done for them… I’m not doing anymore than what I need to do. The pay is the same either way… I ‘m doing the bare minimum and no more. I should retaliate against this management team --- I show them what their missing and I am not helping anyone. I am looking out for myself and myself only. So there !!!!! #%$$&%$&$ !!! “

To fully comprehend what this situation costs an organization, it is important to think about the attitude shift in this employee. Whether the emotional reactions are right or wrong is irrelevant. The issue is the employee believes management is unwilling to talk about the issue and has a hidden agenda. This magnifies the disappointment and transformed it into bitterness and resentment that went unaddressed except perhaps in the company gossip and rumor mill.

It is easy to see how this employee’s negativity can leak into everyday situations exactly at times when his intelligence, energy and dedication are needed. With having low energy, this person is very likely not to contribute ideas to resolve dilemmas facing the team. Others view this person as “withdrawn, checked-out and negative” and this attitude give others permission to share their stories. Now the discussions end up spreading into pessimistic cycle of unproductively. The strength of the team weakens and the special talents are withdrawn.

These shifting effects then place greater demand on the management who then needs to become more attentive, active and directive leading in turn to an even less initiative on the employee’s part and the creation of a self-reinforcing negative pattern.

Then the greatest costs are generated: the cost of unnecessary management time and energy. This includes the direct intervention by management to compensate for the lack of energy, motivation and positive alignment illustrated by employees. Management and Leadership end up doing more, solving more and controlling more – in essence micromanaging. The leadership feels unable to trust and delegate to others for the tough challenges. Leadership ends up making more decisions for people and become the center for more approvals, then in turn builds a more expensive hierarchy and bureaucracy. Then because management and leadership become exhausted and frustrated with tension, they end up needing a skilled professional such as me to intervene, which adds more cost.

Leadership time is expensive. If leadership is micromanaging, then who is steering the organization? In one comparative small instance a senior manager calculated he spent 100 hours of his own time and 175 hours had been spent by other top staff to resolve an issue that should have been handled by managers closer to the front line. The top manager took on the problem because he feared potential repercussions from the top executive.

The fear of addressing the problem costs because fear will ripple across the organization. Fear is an aggressive predator blocking creativity, trust and joy. Fear deteriorates motivation, teamwork and commitment and instills the need to control while aiding in the propensity to stagnate and deteriorate. When the fear of addressing the real issue prevails, the workload of management gets bigger and bigger at every level.

A common psychological dilemma of today is most people complain about what they are sick of in society yet they take no real course of action to create real change. Our society is growing sicker because of the fearful mindset of so many. We hear so many say things such as “ I don’t give a damn anymore” or It’s just not worth the headaches and ulcers. I will no longer strive for excellence” or “ I have a long-term attitude of not caring. I’ll just do the basics of the job and survive” These attitudes are toxic and are addictive leaches looking to spread its poison. This is where the addictive codependent cycle continues.

More and more people behave as codependents and participate in the addictive behaviors that society has normalized. These psychological conditions that are floating through our societal matrix: workplace, relationships, politics, religious houses, TV and movies; are often not understood.

Codependent behavior often is not scrutinized because these people are devoted to the family system, the organizational system, and to their relationships because they excel at behaving as “professional caregivers”. These folks make themselves indispensible to others will do whatever it takes to be “liked”. I mean anything. If someone doesn’t like them or want to be their friend they take it very personally. They want to be validated for their thoughts, their contributions, and their mere presence. They will get upset for the smallest things and take everything personal.

I have worked with many codependents. Here is an example of the personalization:

At a regularly scheduled business meeting with no assigned seats, the codependent individual became accustomed to sitting at certain spot in the room. The codependent person’s participation level in the meeting is listening to be informed and learn more about the subject(s) being discussed in the meeting. Because this person became addicted to sitting in a certain seat and place in the room, when someone else sat in that seat where this person became accustomed to sitting and was unfriendly, the codependent felt it was a personal attack and conspiracy. The codependent took this very personal and felt “un-liked” because this codependent was supporting the cause by sitting in this certain chair and spot in the room. The codependent wants everyone to see their value and validate them.

These people are the volunteers; they set aside their own physical, emotional and spiritual needs for the sake of others. They end up overburdened and exhausted while other people see them as hero’s holding up society or the project or the cause. Yet they can be very exhausting to people who are self-sufficient or do not want or welcome their assistance because they come across as meddlers interfering in that person’s boundaries or not respecting the person does not welcome them in their space.

Codependents are selfless to the point of hurting themselves. They work and care for others to such an extreme that they develop various physical and emotional problems. Then and only then, they allow themselves to be cared for and nurtured. The reason codependents do all this for people so the people they care for become dependent on them. This is where the disease sets in. Codependents not only have relationships with addicts, they behave as an addict. They are not necessarily drug or alcohol abusers yet they do use other addictive means compulsively and habitually. They take on an exaggerated responsibility for others. They confuse love and pity with the propensity to love people they can pity and rescue.

Codependents have relationship addictions. They form and maintain relationships that are one-sided or emotionally destructive or abusive. These folks have low self-esteem. They search for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They have extremely good intentions to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty. Yet the caretaking becomes addictive, needy, compulsive and defeating. Codependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course, blurring boundaries and sometimes becoming disconnected from reality and they create their own idealism. They become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the codependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.”

When the caretaking becomes habitual, the codependent feels helpless in the relationship and becomes an addict who is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that caused the addiction. Codependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in romance, friendship and workplace relationships. They constantly seek validation for their martyr efforts to save someone from their circumstances otherwise if validation is not received; they feel hurt because they have an extreme need to approval and recognition.

Another example I have experienced is codependents become very attached to what they create and invest their time in. This is a core essence of the additive pattern. For example:

A group of folks create policies and procedures. The group falls in love with their creation. Upon execution completion and used by all they affected it is realized their creation does not serve the affected in a positive uplifting manner; instead it brings more struggle and lack into the equation. The policy and procedure creators personalize the feedback from the affected instead of scrutinizing the outcome which resulted in creating more troubling difficult consequences for all involved, including themselves. The codependent addictive thinking focuses on the affected NOT liking their policy rather than creating win-win results that all prosper from. This is a very costly addictive game to play. It is a poor investment in time and in money. The feedback is a priceless tool to utilize.

Codependents are very susceptible and they believe that people tell them the truth when they are down-right lying. They want to be good, be liked, and be included. These three motivators are so powerful that they take precedence over sound judgment. They cannot see when they are being tricked, lied to or deceived by others or through self-deception because they choose NOT to see. This is because the Addictive System invites all to deny seeing people and things as they really are and only as the codependent wants them to be. By this refusal, the codependent end’s up disrespecting that other person or group. It is only when people are seen as they really are; they can honor, accept and own up to the responsibility to be accountable for their part in society and for themselves. It is only when an individual owns up to who they really are, is when the option to become something else occurs.

The codependent receives very little encouragement to get well because the disease supports our culture and our culture supports the disease. Codependents exhibit some of the most valued and some of the most despised characteristics in society. The behavior of the codependent is perceived as nice, righteousness, correctness and the ability to be understanding. This selfishness is often camouflaged as dishonesty. Rather than directly communicating what they want, they use indirect devious means to say what they want. They avoid facing an issue and they talk around and about people, not to them. They rumor, innuendo and gossip to manipulate others to create confusion. And it is very passive-aggressive to the point where they will do almost anything to avoid confrontation because they FEAR not being LIKED.

Sadly, these behaviors are considered normal.

(as a reminder this situation expands in a different continuum of intensity. Please be aware that only a qualified professional make this judgment on an individual or an organization. )

This normalization is sucking us into an addictive fear based illusion that defines its own reality. This illusion has people believing we have an economic problem instead of facing up to the FACT that the United States of America has a true psychological problem. The mind of American society is closed and addicted to FLUFF. This closed fluffy mind believes the future and the present will be the same so therefore why do anything different. This establishes a mind state that attempts to counteract an underlying fear that the future will be worse than the present. This fear inhibits the tendency to evolve, flourish and most of all HAVE the PROSPERITY OF OUR BIRTHRIGHT.


This fear flourishes and floats in the news, on social media, and in passing conversations. This Fear based addictive system defines itself on a basis to support its reality: its control, its judgment, its illusion of perfection, shifting thinking processing into left brain constructs and leaving out right brain creativity, to keep the dishonesty and denial alive.

We see evidence of this illusion in everyday life. Our media feeds us subliminal food in paid advertisements, mass communications, reports on business organizations, leaders, politicians, professional sport athletes and many movies and TV programs that illustrate these deep root psychological conditions.

All these illusions create a reality of misperceptions of Counterfactual Thinking Process on a complicated system of fear defenses. Which I know is a bunch of NONSENSE !!!!! Because we have given into the illusion in order to fit in and live as the addict.

The recovery process of Counterfactual Thinking requires our thoughts to shift from FEAR to LOVE. I am not speaking of the illusion of Love that falls apart once fear or hatred enters into the relationship. What I am speaking of is to HEAL our thinking and our Behavior. In this healing we cross a safe bridge very quietly shifting our thoughts from fear to love. In Love no illusion exists because it based on Facts. In the illusion of love, barricades against it occur, the love is broken, fear rushes in and triumphs.

Real love does not have triumphs. Only illusions and counterfactual thinking triumphs; this is a mistake in our thinking. The illusion of love can triumph over the illusion of FEAR with a price associated to maintain both illusions. Conflicts occur within us when we need to make a choice between these two illusions. Both choices are equally dangerous because this is where most people avoid, indecision sets in and complacency becomes the accepted pattern.

Our job is to overcome all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against the truth of love. We can have the dreams of our heart and soul once were learn to stop the resistance to LOVE.

The path to find this truth is taking steps forward to diminish all the psychological fearful dilemmas one by one. Forgiveness and Empathy are part of the keys to open the door to freedom and to stop the psychological destruction. These steps on this journey lead to the union within each one of us which provides knowledge and certainty that leads to an evolving uplifted society.

My friends what would happen if you didn’t travel through the fear? And what would happen if you did learn to LOVE?

Genuinely,

Christine

Christine M. West – PhD-c is an Industrial Organizational Psychology Practitioner and Alternative Health Therapist who owns and operates TheBusinessMD. TheBusinessMD is a result oriented service provider that guides the behavior of people toward their intended outcome. TheBusinessMD is predominantly skilled in the areas of discerning and solving psychological dilemmas, human analysis, behavior modification, and emotional and social intelligence.

“Thoughts are Things”

The Psychological Dilemma:



‎"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought." Peace Pilgrim

Thoughts are Things

I often question how many people really pay attention to what they think. This very question may seem puzzling yet our very thoughts contribute to how we experience and perceive reality. The circuits in our brain produce an energetic vibration, as a result forms a frequency by the very thoughts we think and the emotions we feel.

This frequency can simulate benefit or detriment. For simplicity purposes, positive thoughts and loving emotions produce a higher frequency and negative thoughts and toxic emotions produce a lower frequency.

Emotions are fuel (energy) behind our thoughts. Our thoughts can establish wellness or disease in the mind or body, prosperity or scarcity and abundance or deficiency. Many worry about money and their health. Worry is one of Fear’s family members. Fear as the fuel behind this specific thought process, over a period of time, produces a poverty-based mindset which expects life to be a struggle. Because we think it is normal to struggle, we think everything is hard. Since everything is hard, we don’t trust anyone or ourselves, and then we think we need control everything and everybody. Of course with this type of thought process how could we ever be successful? These negative thoughts create twists and turns in our minds which bring us spiraling down to our detriment. This detriment affects our health and immune system creating diseases such as cancer and diabetes. It also creates difficulty in our relationships, our endeavors, our work, increases stress and creates poverty.

Now remember, I said emotions are the fuel (energy) behind our thoughts. The good news is if you want a life of surplus and health, unconditional LOVE is the FUEL behind the thought to keep the mind and body healthy. When we genuinely love ourselves (not to be confused by EGO driven love) and allow life to flow through us, life becomes an extraordinary journey. We let go of the need to control anything except how we choose to respond to outer conditions. We find productive ways to work through life’s conflicts. We trust in the process of life. We develop healthy relationships and life is far more simple, fun, uplifting, joyous and inviting. We have a lot more energy to take action. Opportunity seeks us. Increase is always on the horizon. We laugh and smile more. The negative or EGO driven ways of others is uninteresting. The peaceful and loving thoughts we maintain take us out of the common problems majority of our society struggles with. Life is full of meaning and substance.

Now, if you read my words, it is your choice to choose your path. If you want to live healthy, it is your responsibility to take charge of your thoughts and your mind. We’re all in this together. Together we can evolve into an astounding society. You have the power inside of you to create the experiences you want. Take charge of your MIND today and reap life’s rewards.

To your health and your wealth!!

Genuinely,

Christine